Ânia Marcos
Ânia Marcos

Emotion Is Just Another Muscle

It’s your first time ever in the gym. You’re super excited to start building some muscle.

You head to the the weight lift area and you grab…

Probably a 5kg weight for each arm to train your biceps? Depends, right?

That’s the whole point. No one in their right mind starts lifting a ton of weight on their first day.

You build muscle over time.

And when you make a jump in the amount of weight you’re lifting, a friend is there by your side to help you lift it. Just to make sure you don’t harm yourself.

My question is: why are physical and emotional growth seen differently?

For a 5 year old kid, a friend who refuses to play with them for whatever reason, is probably as tough as your boss telling you you’re not doing your job properly when you’ve been giving it your all.

If we relate this to the gym analogy, we can see the kid as someone who barely started their training compared to the guy who has been going 3x a week for the past year.

Over time you’re strengthening your emotional muscles. And whatever things happen to you in life strengthen those muscles as well.

And sometimes, life throws us a weight that’s too heavy for us at the time – and we shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask a friend to help us lift it, until we can deal with it by ourselves.

Just because we can’t see it, doesn’t it make it less real.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Maybe, but you don’t want a dislocated shoulder, do you?

Be patient with yourself. Ask for help – and allow others to help out.

Together, weight is relative.


PS: If you haven’t already, check out my blog post on overwhelm and let me know your thoughts!


  1. Carlos Morales - 2 years ago

    Very good post i think having a group of people that are like minded and understand the struggles as artist is very valuable. Thanks Ania

    • aniamarcos - 2 years ago

      Thank you, Carlos! And amen to that! Like Chris Oatley says al the time, “artists are not meant to work alone” 🙂 And as human beings, we all need friends and a tribe we fit in.

      Glad you enjoy my weekly thoughts <3 Hugs!

  2. Marwa - 2 years ago

    Well said Dear Ania <3 . I'm a strong advocate of asking help from our friends or family & not being ashamed of that . Although the trend now is being strong & independent but i don't see how feeling emotionally in need at some point contradicting with that ! right ?

    • aniamarcos - 2 years ago

      Marwa <3 Yes, being strong and independent does not necessarily mean closing yourself up in a shell and stop relying on people. The greatest things are accomplished together 😀

      Thank you for your comment, dear!

  3. Jenny - 11 months ago

    As someone who spent most of her childhood alone, and teenage years having friends who turn out to be enemies in disguise, i think i am emotionally strong. It wasnt until my MS diagnosis where i had to let myself be helped. I was a vile patient, more out of pride than actual meanness (apologies were given) and the realisation of what people actual cared about me would give up just to help me out.That opening up of defenses was really hard for me. Now im out of my relapse i do find myself alot more humble but im still strong where i have to be. Great post Ania x

    • aniamarcos - 11 months ago

      Hi, Jenny!! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story and for your encouraging words. I’m glad you were able to let others help you, I can only imagine how hard that must have been <3 Hugs!

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